Author: David McEntire

Reflecting is something that can be both, beneficial and detrimental. Such is life I suppose, yet a younger version of myself would argue for constantly calculating things that are said and done and how to strive to be better. 

I think age plays a big part in helping with gaining a better perspective on things as a whole. What 20-year-old David couldn’t understand, growth comes with much more than just dwelling on things; it comes with letting things go and striving to improve.

Last year I made a promise to myself to set goals and look at the progress I made. I think in our society at large, improvement is something we all pine for, especially at the start of the new year. This weird fantasy about being a better version of ourselves.

 While again, goals are important, I’d like to think about what happens within a year. Life is so much more precious than improving and I would argue that true improvement comes from the experiences we all share as human beings.

For instance, I could talk about the improvements I’ve made personally or the drawbacks I haven’t accomplished yet, again falling into the trap of “Next year I’ll be better because of X, Y, and Z”.

Does that really help anything?

Is self-reflection a fool’s game at best?

The older I get, the more memories with loved ones matter the most. This year I have experienced so many wonderful things. Dinners with family, board games with friends, I’ve attended more beautiful weddings, as well as got married myself. I have grown as a person, artist, husband, friend, and learner. I feel content with how fortunate I am with all the love and friendships I have. 

If you are reading this, please know that chances are, I hold you in my heart as a friend and with that sentiment, I will always do everything I can to give you as much joy as you give me.

Unfortunately, I am not a psychic, so I don’t know what changes I will encounter this new year, but I will love with more vigor than the world has ever known.

I’ve done something a bit different with AFOMF. I have been wanting to incorporate a video aspect, since I started. This is why this post is a bit more short than normal. In the future, I’ll try to make both seem a more balanced length. 

It was an early morning in September; Our throats were tight as we tried to wake up at the local tea shop. Benjamin is one of the most sincere, passionate individuals I’ve ever encountered. We are both extremely busy, but I was excited to meet with him before he left on his big trip.

He is headed with his beautiful wife Heather on a journey of discovery and strength.

“It’s with a program called mission year.” The idea is to internally put one in a space that’s very Jesus modeled.

The program focuses on living for community.  It’s to promote building a stronger marriage spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

“The program also wants to get a refocus of doing.”

Benjamin is in my opinion, an ideal Christian, He shows the compassion, understanding, and helping other people without judging.

I first met him while we were both working at Kohl’s after high school. We both started working on the truck team and discovered our mutual interests, and the fact that we went to the same school, literally have lived in the same neighborhood forever but just met by chance at a job! Crazy!!

He is the one that got me interested in photography. I remember when he bought his first camera.

He’s always been supportive in everything I do. He took a ton of photos for my band and always went to a ton of shows.

It’s been amazing to see how he’s grown as a person and how he continues to lead with kindness always in mind.

 

Alexsis Lemons and I have been friends since High school. Yet like many others do, we constantly stay busy. This year I aim to change that; this is the third entry in “A Few of my Friends” photo series.

Alexsis is one of those people that when you meet her, you have a sense of connection. For me, what that means is a common ground of philosophy, art, poetry, and the desire to learn. She is a pleasant life force of the humanistic approach to thinking. She’s always strives to be true to herself, which is incredibly uncommon.

We shared this pleasant conversation in a tea shop. (I know I’m becoming an enigma of a hipster, I really do love tea) We hadn’t seen one another in quite some time. I think maybe a random show last year briefly? Certainly, it had been ages since we really talked.

Alexsis informed me of how her father and step father were both in the Airforce. She has been moving since a young age. When her dad retired, they moved here. Prior to high school, she was home schooled. She didn’t mind moving around, stating “Im really good at being on my own.”

 David:  “Do remember the first time we personally hung out, what did you think of me?”

A:         “I thought you were nice, because you were just always nice to people and you are nicer to people than most people are. That was great,and because you were like a boy, a high school boy… High school boys are dumb, and do so many stupid things and like you’d hang out with those boys but it didn’t seem like you were as dumb… (laughs) doing stupid shit. But you were like there with them for the ride (laughs)

Alexis has always seemed to be herself. When asked about this, she said

A:           “I think that’s because I didn’t go to middle school. You know you become involved in that, I mean I had drama and conflict, that one year, but I don’t want to make enemies with people.”

We spoke of how in hindsight, some people in our theater program probably felt threatened by her ability to be herself.  A rarity at that age. I concluded that her positive energy was invigorating to me because I felt the same way.

A:           ” I hate talking about myself but at the same time it’s good to kind of like work through who you were, where you want to be, and where you’re at now and stuff.”

D:            “Do you feel like you’re closer to the person you want to be?”

A:             “Yes!  I only had a long-term boyfriend it was two years 18 to 20. I broke up with him because I would go into a depression if I fulfilled this life that he was on a track to have like… get engaged, house, career, all of that. Those are great things if people want them but I know that’s not what I want. I’m not trying to buy a house right now! (laughs)” I don’t like the person I was then…, I closed myself off so much and I didn’t know how to vocalize what I wanted and people take me seriously… I found out deciding not to do those things has brought me into that direction. But I’m also just more confident in myself.”

“I think that I talk to people in a way they don’t get spoken to a lot, and they end up really kind of liking that. But I know that I don’t want anything, and you almost have a balance of not being rude about it or not being mean because some people like push back, I just need to be left alone. It brings you closer to yourself… I had to recently tell a friend you know, don’t treat me like this or get out of my life because they were the last person I was letting treat me without respect, the respect I think I deserve because I give it to other people.”

D:               “If you can handle being by yourself and gaining that satisfaction for being alone, it’s almost like a spiritual state within yourself”

A:               “People are always saying you got to be good with yourself before you can get into anything with someone else.”

We talked about how it can be more enticing for people when she’s says she isn’t interested.

A:              “I was sitting at a bar one time, reading a book and I was ordering food, I was in Seattle, I had just taken a shower, I was exhausted so I had sweats, a shirt, wet hair, reading a book, a BOOK at a bar that’s like, leave me alone 101. This guy starts talking to me and he’s like “You don’t look like anyone around here… I said just reading my book (laughs) he said “Man you’re like a challenge you don’t want anything to do with anyone here”. I’m not a challenge I just want to read my book I’m not your cat toy. (laughs). I feel like people don’t take it seriously and It offends me.”

Alexis seems to be a magnet for the type of guy who think she’s playing games, which with her is never the case. We joked about it, but I got the sense of just some of the stuff she has to put up with all the time. I hope one day, people can be okay with directness. One can dream.

D:               “So where all have you traveled?”

A:                “Can I explain to you everything the feel for it, because I want people to understand?”

D:                “Yes I just didn’t want to push.. ”

A:                 ” No no no… I like talking about it because it makes it more understood and there’s so much meaning behind the travel I’m actually doing. I feel like I try to make that apparent so that, you know you want people to know you’re appreciating it and you aren’t just going out because you don’t know what you’re doing with your life.

I’ve always had a bit of wanderlust, always because I moved around so much as a kid growing up and I’ve always been interested in culture, and just like you said, like those humanistic kind of qualities,  getting to know other humans and seeing how, when you meet people, you aren’t actually noticing differences as much as you’re noticing similarities. So, when my dad passed it was like, you know I’ve always wanted to do all this traveling I meant to get out of Oklahoma, I want to have these experiences and go to these places because that’s what I’ve always wanted to do. I tech social studies and stuff so I’m just so interested the history, the background the culture the language, all of it. So when he passed it was like I wanted to do whatever I could to feel like I was living. He left me a very nice gift, um life insurance and stuff which is how I do a lot of the traveling. I still work and stuff but people ask and that’s how I’m able to do it, I don’t like to talk about that part because it’s like, You don’t really understand. It’s really hard to use that, but I’m doing what my dad would have one hundred percent be proud and happy for me to do with it. So, I just want to go out and explore the world and I take his ashes with me everywhere I lay them out. I’m going to tell you one of the times

We spoke of all her phenomenal adventures ranging from the great lakes to Canada and beyond. For her mom’s 50th birthday they went to Australia.

“We went to southern California first and flew out of LA. We took the train there, so had that bonding time and drinking wine on the train, seeing the sun set in the dessert, it was beautiful. My mom had wanted to go to Sydney and things my mom had wanted to see her whole life.” The sky out there, I had never seen so many stars. I didn’t think it was real you know? Then I went to Iceland. We went on a Game of Thrones tour. It’s crazy. I’ve got all the united states crossed off now, cause I’ll do the southeast and then I’m going to top it off with Alaska. ”

D:       Thus far what has been your favorite place to go to? Top three! Or five?

A:       Damn … Okay Greece… Oh my God Greece, for sure… Um Australia… Umm southern Oregon. Montreal. I loved Montreal it’s seriously top five.  Okay hold on I didn’t add Germany back on the list did I? Okay ill add it back on the list because it’s so beautiful. But I like all of them for different reasons. That’s why I just want to keep going because I’m trying to find somewhere to go I don’t have roots here. I have people I love, people I adore but I want to move. I’ve always moved my whole life anyway so it’s not like it’s hard to do. I really just want to find a place that make me happy.

We talked about where she thinks she wants to live. She isn’t sure yet but figuring it out. Maybe southern California.

“I felt so wish-washy because my goals have changed, my goal of what I want that happiness that doing something that I love, I love teaching but it can break you down. I can connect with kids in a different way. ”

If you haven’t realized it yet, Alexsis is a tremendous old soul with the natural vigor for adventure. She strives for walking to the beat of her own drum. Listening to this conversation is so inspiring on so many different levels. I’m so proud of the woman that she is. I am delighted to gain knowledge an understanding from her. She shared personal stories of her father and what she’s doing ever day to honor him. I had met him on a few occasions in our youth.

“I think my dad’s like my guardian angel. Especially going on these trips alone. He’s always making sure I’m safe”

She carries her father’s ashes with her when she goes. A true traveler, rambler a storyteller. She is the definition of independence and power. With her two adorable dogs, In her dad’s truck, She’s a true philosopher of the time. Spiritually and emotionally she carries the weight of a warrior never complaining Always positive no matter what. I will do everything I can to live in a similar way.

Thank you, friend, for always teaching.

Axel Von Tungeln and I have been friends since 2010. Yet like many others do, we constantly stay busy. This year I aim to change that; this is the second entry in “A Few of my Friends” photo series.

Axel and I have been friends for roughly seven years. I met him in a digital video production class right after graduating high school. At first I didn’t know what to think of the guy. He had long hair and wore gold rimmed aviators inside. Baggy clothes with Oklahoma red cigarettes peering from his right pocket. However I’m glad we started talking in that class because I met one of the most interesting characters with the biggest laugh. He will do anything for anyone no questions asked.

This day we started it off where it felt right. We went to Raising Canes. This place always reminds me of Axel because it was his first job and he used to always tell us how awesome it was. As we ate our food and caught up, he had me quickly laughing. He’s one of those people who can make outlandish statements with his southern Louisiana drawl.

We got back to my place and had a few drinks, talking about the past, ex girlfriends, video games, movies,and what it means to be creative.

Me: “When’s the last time we saw one another?”

Axel: “I would say it would have to be around thanksgiving, so in November.”

M: “What’s the one thing you’ve learned since I’ve seen you last”?

A: “I’m stubborn in the sense that if I’m not passionate about something I wont do it. (Laughs) Ive learned to bake a lot of bread. Hmm I’m a bit of a boss, I’ve learned that.

M: If you could talk to your sixteen year old self, what would be said?

A: I’ve always maintained that id get in a fight with myself. We’d have such different perspectives on things. The sixteen year old would say “why haven’t things gone according to plan?” Well you’re young and dumb and the world doesn’t work the way you think it does.

My 16 year old self would then  say “shut up old man!”

Axel has always had a way of skirting the line between being funny and sometimes a bit morose. I remember when we had class together sometimes I’d joke with him of being Eeyore Axel. He mentioned to me on this occasion about how he’s always envied my positive attitude. I told him anytime he needed a pick me up to call me.  When I brought out my camera, we’d had a bit too much of Maker’s Mark. I’m proud of the way these turned out though! It captures his character pretty well

He had me laughing hysterically! He knows how to animate a story
I joked with him because now appearance wise we have switched places.